Letter to my Soldier
by jneisha
Summary: This is a letter Jun sent to Kazuya when Kazuya left to fight his father one last time before he died. This fic has dirty humour and foul language.
1. Letter to my Soldier

**Letter to my Soldier**

**By: j_neisha {inspired by a friend}**

**      j_neisha@hotmail.com**

**      Kazuya_jun@hotmail.com**

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**_Authors warning: This letter fic has dirty humor and foul language.  If you're not fond of this, don't read this_**.

Kazuya Mishima received a letter from his girlfriend Jun, but he couldn't show his friends because she signed  "Mother".

The letter said:

M-is for the many times we made love.

O-is for the other times we tried, but failed.

T-is for the terrific times we had.

H-is for the hotel we stayed in.

E-for the easy way we went.

R-is for the rhythm we had.

That spells "mother." That's what I'm going to be in 9 months.

Kazuya wrote back.  His letter said:

F-is for the fucked up letter you sent.

A-is for the ass you are.

T-is for the trouble you are.

H-is for the Hoe you are.

E-for the easy way you gave it up.

R-is for the romance we never had.

I'll be damned if I'm the father.  This is what I think of the baby:

B-is for the baby without a father.

A-is for the abortion you need to get.

B-is for the bastard you need to get.

Y-is for "yes" when you should have said "no"

She forgot to include something in the first letter so she wrote back:

B-is for all that beef you had with me.

E-is for the eating you did.

S-is for the sick person you are.

T-is for the times I made you say you love me.

F-is for the funny made penis you have.

R-is for the rash on your ass.

I-is for the interesting things you didn't have to say about me.

E-is for the energy you wasted.

N-is for the nasty dog you are.

D-is for the dad your going to be.

That spells "Best friend." That's who I had in your place while you were away- Baek DooSan.


	2. Pitiful Excuse For a Man

Pitiful Excuse (for a Man)

By: jneisha {inspired by letter "Letter to my Soldier"}

J_neisha@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken.

**_Author's Note:_********_this letter is a little like my last one "Letter to my Soldier" but this time it isn't staring the Tekken's famous videogame couple Kazuya and Jun.  No…this time it is staring Nina, Lee, and Anna.  That's right, a threesome.  Enjoy._**

**_Dirty humor and foul language is still in this fic.   Feel free to read "Letter to my Soldier." my first letter fic.  This is a continuation to the letter fic, "Letter to my Soldier."    _**

****

Lee Cholan received a letter from one of his girlfriends, Nina Williams.  The letter was sealed with a kiss and Lee was anxious to open it.  He dared not tell Kazuya, his half brother because of the heart-wrenching letter that he received from Jun weeks ago.

The letter said:

B- is for the bullshit that you are always telling me.

A- is for the ass that you would have if you would stop starving yourself.

S- is for the sex that could have been a lot better. 

T- is for the times that you said you loved me but really you didn't.

A- is for the many abortions I had to get because you didn't think of using a condom.

R- is for the ridiculous way you scream (in any case)

D- is for the diseases I could have gotten if I hadn't reminded you to use a condom (when you did.)

This is what I think of you.  You are a bastard and I guess that I can't trust a single word that you say…

Lee wrote back.  His letter said:

B- is for the bitch that you cracked up to be.

I- is for the interesting things that you don't seem to talk about.

T- is for the trick that you seem to have been.

C- is for the other chicks I could have been fucking.

H – is for the hoar that you are.

That spells "bitch" and that is what you are.  

Lee received a letter from Anna a week later.  The letter read:

P- is for the penis you don't have.

A- is for the asshole you turned out to be.

T- is for fucking that tramp of a sister of mine.

H- is for the hell you put me through.

E- is for the evil glares you would give me (all the time.)

T- is for the times you would total ignore me and go give Nina what she wants.

C- is for the coward you are.

That spells "pathetic" and trust me that is definitely what you are!

Lee ignored that pitiful excuse for a letter and a week later got one from each of them on the same day.

Nina's letter said:

P- is for the pitiful lovemaking we made.

I- is for the 

T- is for the trouble I used to go through to get you what you want.

I- is for the ignorance that was shown to both my sister and me.

F- is for the fagot that you are. 

U- is for the ungratefulness that you shown me.

L- is for the silver lipstick you were forever using.

E- is for the excuses that you always told me (before a date.)

X- is for the x-treme things I had to do to pleasure myself (because you never had time to do it, or never did it right.)  

C- is circumcision you should have gotten.

S- is for the sensations that came from my "significant other."

E- is for the exercise that I never seen you do.

That is what you are…a pitiful excuse for a man.  And by the way there is something else I wanted to tell you:

B- is for the beef that _he_ doesn't have with me.

R- is for the romancing that he does.

O- is for the other things that we love to do (other than fool around and have sex)

T- is for the way _he_ treats me.

H- is for the hell we both went through.

E- is for the excitement we always have.

R-is for the rash _he_ _doesn't_ have.

That spells "brother" and that's who I am with now—Kazuya Mishima.

Anna's letter read:

G- is for, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

O- is for the other things we have done.

N- is for the negative vibes that you give off.

O- is for the old age spread that you are getting. 

R- is for the dates that you picked at random. 

R- is for the rash that you will soon receive on your dick.

H- is for the health factory that you will have to make.

E- is for the excitement I never had.

A- is for the hoes you and Kazuya have in them other area codes.

That's Gonorrhea, and that's what I have and what you now have.  Hope you have fun with your precious disease, and learn to use a condom.


	3. Gay is as Gay Does

Gay is As Gay Does

By: jneisha

J_neisha@hotmail.com

A/N: This is still of the Mishima/Kazama family but this is different.  This involves Jin and Hwoarang this time.  This will be with the master collection of "Letter to My Soldier." Very dirty humor and foul language is in this still.  (That's why it's rated R)

Jin Kazama stood checking his mailbox drowsily one sunny afternoon.  He took out a handful of letters.

Bill-Con Ed

Overdue Bill-Con Ed

Bill-Gas and Electric

Pink envelop- Sealed with a kiss

The pink envelope surprised him.  He threw the rest of the mail back into the box and took the pink envelop back inside.  

Once inside he looked at the front side of the envelope to see that there was no return address.  He looked at the back of it to see the seal was sealed with two read lip prints.  He opened it to see there was a pink letter inside that red:

T- is for the lovely time I had last night.

H- is for the head I gave you.

A-is for the nice ass that you have.

N-is for the many times you nutted in my face. 

K-is for the things that I now know about you.

S- is for the sex that could happen more often if you call me.

That spells "thanks" and I meant it for the time that we had last night.

~Hwoarang.

Jin had no idea what the hell this guy "Hwoarang was talking about.  He decided to leave the letter alone but got another letter a few weeks later along with a gift:

B-is for the biggest one that I had yet.

L- is for the lame way you keep up with your dates.

O- is for the opposite ways you can attract. 

W- is for the way you suck.

J- is for the job that was done.

O-is for the odd way that you handle your business.

B- is for how much bucking you did beneath me.

That spells "Blowjob" and trust me that is certainly what you gave me three weeks ago.  

Jin opened the box to find and vibrator and a note attached to it:

_I hope that you like this gift; you will need it when I find you._

There was a return address so Jin decided to write back to this maniac:

W- is for the weird things that you are sending me.

E-is for the exiting things that I do with my girlfriend and not you.

I- is for the ignorant way you are approaching me.

R- is for the respect that you need to give me.

D- is for the downtime that I need from this shit.

That spells "weird" and that's is certainly what you are.  Stop writing me.

Hwoarang didn't stop there.  He wanted Jin to suffer.  He sent him one more letter while Jin's girlfriend Ling Xiaoyu is in the house, but she got a hold of the letter while he was in the kitchen cooking for them:

G- is for the great things that you have done.

A- is for the ass that I came into.

Y- is for the yelling that you did.

That spells, "gay" and gay is as gay does.

Ling was not happy at all so she decided to write a letter for Jin:

B- is for the best friend that I thought I had.

I- is for the idiotic ways you lied to me when you said you were "going out"

S- is for the sex that I certainly missed out on because you were giving it to someone else…and a man at that.

E- is for the excellent way you must have pleased him because you didn't do it to me.

X- is for the Xtreme things that you did to him.

U- is for the unusual ways you wanted to satisfy me.

A-is for the big ass that you got from all the banging done to you.

L- is for the love that I didn't get.

That spells "Bi-Sexual" and that's what you are…and I certainly don't want anything to do with you.


End file.
